Hello 45
This birthday feels like a big one...
I’m not sure why but it feels important. I feel like a lot of things are coming together in the best way.
I was talking to my therapist last week and she said something really profound, it’ll stay with me forever. I said I feel like a completely different person to the one who started therapy in 2020. She couldn’t agree more, the progress I have made and what I have achieved in that time are hugely significant - most of it unseen - about how I think and feel about myself. Life long self limiting beliefs really are hard to shift.
She started telling me about a video she had watched of Pharrell Williams listening to a then unknown Maggie Rogers’ music where at the end he states he has “zero notes” - I wondered where the anecdote was leading when she said “thats how I feel about you Clair - no notes“ This was hugely moving for both of us. Of course I am by no means perfect (who is?) or ‘healed’- whatever that means, but I have come so far in how I understand myself, practiced detaching myself from my thoughts (not all are real) and therefore how I relate to others. It’s been a ride…and not an easy one. You cant control everything that happens TO you, curveballs will come (having a disabled child is a daily reminder of that nugget) but you CAN decide how to respond every day. We won’t get it right every time but even if we succeed most or just some of the time that will make life infinitely easier. I promise.
It was so useful in the busy whirlwind of life to reflect and see how far I have come rather than always looking at how much I have yet to do and actually say “fuck, yeah I actually am doing this life thing now”. If you pay attention, sit in the uncomfortable moments and try to learn from the difficult times then aging really is the most beautiful thing.
Another big change - I have joined a gym for the first time in my life. I have always seen exercise in relation to punishment and weight loss and never gelled with the pt’s I have tried in the past. I finally found a space that has the right energy - welcoming, encouraging and honestly I am loving it. I have reframed exercise without pressure and it feels exciting to be getting stronger although every exercise is still really hard for me at this stage, my legs are jelly most sessions :) I am proud of myself for stepping WAY out of my comfort zone and starting though.
This era really feels like a new beginning - I feel more content than ever. Stars are aligning, the business is growing, the hard work is paying off, I only have people around me that are giving me encouragement and good energy, I know myself, I have found a kind of balance and my nervous system feels more calm than it ever has. Not to say I dont ever feel stressed because of course I do but it feels like all the strategies I have put in place are coming together in a beautiful way.
I’m excited for all this next year of my life will bring :)
On to Business
Recipe of the month
This ones quick and easy, great for a week day quick meal
Ingredients
For the marinade:
Buchans bbq sauce - 6 tablespoons
Ginger - 1 thumb size piece finely chopped
Garlic - 5 x cloves crushed
Quick Cook Extra Thin Beef Steak 200g
Sesame seeds, white, 1 teaspoon
Basil - handful, finely chopped
For the salad:
2 ripe mangoes, cut into small cubes
1 Red onion, finely chopped
1 cucumber, finely chopped
1 red pepper, cut into small cubes
2 large ripe tomatoes, finely chopped
10 basil leaves, finely chopped (keep a couple back for garnish)
For the salad dressing:
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger
Half a teaspoon chilli flakes
2 tablespoons runny honey or maple syrup
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
Quarter of a teaspoon of salt
Method
Mix your marinade ingredients and marinate your steak slices ahead of time, I prefer the day before but even a few hours will make a difference. Add the steak slices and marinade ingredients to a Tupperware dish, mix well, add lid and store in the fridge. Take out half hour before cooking.
During that half hour lets make the salad -
Mix together all of the salad ingredients then mix the dressing ingredients in a bowl and add these. Set aside.
Quick fry your thin slices of steak, these literally take 30 secs each side, I prefer on a high heat to get a crispy edge but keep on a medium heat if you’d prefer them softer.
Add to a plate to rest for a couple of minutes then plate up with the salad and sprinkle on your sesame seeds and chopped basil.
I really enjoyed this, its a great one when you are craving something FRESH. Let me know if you make it x
Books
This month I read
‘Go Gentle’ by Maria Semple - It was a bit of a strange one but good at the same time? Hard to describe :)
‘A Mind Of My Own’ by Kathy Burke - A really good memoir, if you are a Kathy fan definitely read this, short chapters…I whizzed through it.
I just started ‘Yesteryear’ by Caro Claire Burke and it already seems good. Will update you on that next month.
I’ll see you in June and will promise to not be late, its just been busy guys :)
In the meantime follow me on instagram for daily updates @feastandfrolicsurrey
Take care.
Clair x